How can I find out who's stealing my lunch from the office fridge?
Sam
chinatopwin
2017-05-13 09:26:03
How can I find out who's stealing my lunch from the office fridge?
The particular sugar alcohol they use can cause violent gastrointestinal distress if you eat more than a few bears at a time. Some of the reviews indicate only a small handful of 10 or even less bears causing hours, if not days, of agony. There are more than a few stories that involve the reviewer sobbing naked in a bathtub covered in their own fecal matter. Those who ate a pound or more may or may not have thought they were going to die. There are more than a couple 5 star reviews from people who were using these "Satan bears" to get back at lunch thieves and candy bowl raiders (or sending them to beloved politicians). The reviews describe the intended results far better than I can.
To go for a full shock-and-awe/blitzkrieg style assault you should couple the bears with restricting nearby restroom access once you know they have been consumed. It appears that the symptoms come on suddenly and may lead to them losing control before even making it to a nearby toilet, so restricting access will likely lead to ruined pants/dignity.
I'd say this is far safer and less legally risky than using chocolate laxatives/etc., since this is absolutely a food item and they can make no case against you that you had it out for them. After all, how could you know they were going to react like that to your sugar-free treats?
Also, if it's just a sandwich/etc I've heard of stranger ingredients than gummy bears in a sandwich. But if the suspect is particularly internet-literate they will find out that it was these bears and it is highly unlikely that they wouldn't know you targeted them.
After reading a few of the stories I would not consider doing this except as a last resort and if I truly did not like the suspect (like if they repeatedly took a named lunch, ignored polite notes, etc.).
The particular sugar alcohol they use can cause violent gastrointestinal distress if you eat more than a few bears at a time. Some of the reviews indicate only a small handful of 10 or even less bears causing hours, if not days, of agony. There are more than a few stories that involve the reviewer sobbing naked in a bathtub covered in their own fecal matter. Those who ate a pound or more may or may not have thought they were going to die. There are more than a couple 5 star reviews from people who were using these "Satan bears" to get back at lunch thieves and candy bowl raiders (or sending them to beloved politicians). The reviews describe the intended results far better than I can.
To go for a full shock-and-awe/blitzkrieg style assault you should couple the bears with restricting nearby restroom access once you know they have been consumed. It appears that the symptoms come on suddenly and may lead to them losing control before even making it to a nearby toilet, so restricting access will likely lead to ruined pants/dignity.
I'd say this is far safer and less legally risky than using chocolate laxatives/etc., since this is absolutely a food item and they can make no case against you that you had it out for them. After all, how could you know they were going to react like that to your sugar-free treats?
Also, if it's just a sandwich/etc I've heard of stranger ingredients than gummy bears in a sandwich. But if the suspect is particularly internet-literate they will find out that it was these bears and it is highly unlikely that they wouldn't know you targeted them.
After reading a few of the stories I would not consider doing this except as a last resort and if I truly did not like the suspect (like if they repeatedly took a named lunch, ignored polite notes, etc.).